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May 30th, 2003

If you are suffering from depression, I highly recommend this book. It’s relatively short and sweet, covering in laymen’s terms what depression is, how best to treat it, and how to help yourself (or a friend) feel better. If you are depressed, get the book (it’s pretty inexpensive) and read it. Then give it to your partner or spouse, and then lend it to your parents and/or your friends or both.

The biggest problem I seem to encounter amongst my close friends and my family is the impression that somehow this is just a phase, or somehow I’m doing something to cause it, or that I’m deeply unhappy because of a REASON. What they fail to understand is there is no REASON I’m sad and depressed. The reason lies in faulty brain chemistry which leads to mood difficulties and all the other symptoms etc. It sets up a vicious cycle which is hard to break out of. The lack of a reason (death, divorce, etc., can cause a depressive episode, but this is different from garden-variety clinical depression) is one of the most difficult things I cope with. There is no villain in my story. No bad guy or bad experience I can point to and say “That’s why I’m depressed.”

Nope, I’m just depressed because I am.

The book helps address this, and will help your friends and family understand what is happening. I still crack it out and read it.

Right now, I’m unhappy because the doctor says I’ll probably be on and off (mostly on) medication for the rest of my life. Coupled with a life-long asthma diagnosis, the idea of being on meds forever does not make me happy.

Oh well. I started taking the medication this evening, not prozac this time around. This time it’s a tri-cyclic, and it’s supposed to help me get to sleep. We’ll see… I recall the first few days on prozac as absolute hell–I felt like I was going nuts, literally, before things evened out. I hope this isn’t that bad…

Off to market tomorrow. Probably won’t post again until Sunday.

Posted by Claire at 10:26 PM | Days Go By | Comments (0) | Tweet This Post

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May 29th, 2003
Screwed again

I am absolutely outraged at this story. Tax Law Omits Child Credit in Low-Income Brackets. This is frickin’ ridiculous. This group of people, the income bracket I happen to fall in, gets screwed every time. We don’t get benefits with our jobs, so no health insurance. We don’t qualify for the state-funded health insurance either, we make too much. So we can’t afford to go to the doctor (example: I can’t see a regular doctor for this depression, it would be at least $200… who has $200 for some idiot doctor to tell me what I already know? It’d be the worlds most expensive prescription, that’s what it would be). And if we had a kid, well, SCREW US!! My in-laws are going to get money back, my parents will get money too (both have two children at home) but if WE had a kid, too DAMN BAD! I swear to God, I am unbelieveably angered at the $%#@! a$$hole Republicans and their sworn intent to line the pockets of the rich. In the meantime, we’re broke, likely to get more broke, and we absolutely get crapped on when it comes time to divvy up the spoils of Congress.

Oh, and some other a$$hole stole all our mail from the mailbox yesterday. This included my paycheck. If I had a shotgun, I swear I’d probably shoot myself right now. Which is why I need anti-depressants. Luckily, the nice people at the safety net clinic came through for me, and will help me. So I get to live another week, at least.

Posted by Claire at 10:35 PM | Rant | Comments (0) | Tweet This Post

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May 28th, 2003
While We’re At It

I haven’t posted in a while because my computer is fritzing… The video card (we think) is failing, so it keeps crashing. If anyone wants to help me get a new video card…*wink* (just kidding, I rarely actually resort to panhandling).

Anyway, here are some stories I thought were worth linking to.

Hawking the Next Regime Change

Bush Unchallenged by Media

On Being a Journalist

There you go, the true “liberal” media roundup… Freshly selected for your reading pleasure.

Posted by Claire at 05:17 AM | Rant | Comments (0) | Tweet This Post

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We finally got to see the Matrix last night. I thought it was okay.

Nothing much exciting going on. I’m just trying to make it through each day. I can’t wait until we can get moved again…yep, I’m finally ready to move AGAIN…*grin*

We have some plans to try vermiculture. Check it out at the Worm Woman’s website. I want to buy a worm box, which combined with the recycling center that will be on our floor, will mean we produce very little in the way of garbage. It’s totally cool. If we had a yard, I’d get a Green Cone, but we don’t. So it’s wormies instead… Worms are cool.

Posted by Claire at 05:10 AM | Days Go By | Comments (0) | Tweet This Post

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May 23rd, 2003
Too Tired

I’ve been too tired to post lately. My appointment with the counselor went really well. I think she will be very helpful. She recommended I try to find a doctor and start taking antidepressants again. That will either be very difficult or very expensive, depending on how helpful the county health services are.

Anyway, I’m going away this weekend, first to see my dad, and then to camp at Mt. Humbug State Park. It’s lovely, one of my favorite places. I’ll be back Monday.

Posted by Claire at 05:05 AM | Days Go By | Comments (0) | Tweet This Post

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